It is surprising we don’t get more stories out of San Francisco. That is where the Third Place award comes from this week: San Francisco Bans Naked Dining Amid Hygiene Fears.What kind of city has to enact an ordinance to ban a naked man from sitting down next to you in McDonald’s? Clearly a city where, “Public nudity is generally tolerated.” Call me old-fashioned but I just think that it would ruin my dining experience watching a nude Ramon shuffle and dangle into the restaurant and then sit in the booth across from me. And kudos to the City Council for really putting some teeth in this ordinance. The penalty for the first offense is just a $100 fine. That will teach them!
Second Place goes to this weird headline out of Utah: Michael Selleneit, Utah Man, Shoots Neighbor For ‘Telepathically Threatening’ Him. I have dealt with people like this on many occasions as a police officer. They think they can hear their neighbors conspiring against them. Their brain waves somehow pick up the bad vibes that others are sending their way. I hope the people whose dog crapped in my yard don’t know what I’m thinking!
This week’s winning headline is from Florida: Potato Salad Rage Leads to Palm Coast Woman’s Arrest. I understand that potato salad can be a very emotional issue. In this case, Karen, pictured to the left, pulled a large kitchen knife on her 80 year old father because he would not share his potato salad with her. She also broke a number of items in the kitchen while threatening to cut her old dad. I’m sure that Karen will enjoy the potato salad that they serve in the county jail.