Story of the Week

Jan 6, 2012

Third Place this week goes to this headline: Cat Survives 2 Euthanasia Attempts at Utah shelter. Time had run out for the little black cat. Officials had tried to gas her back in October but, somehow, she had survived. After still not being adopted, they tried again to euthanize her in December. After this gassing, the officials detected no vital signs and thought she was dead. A little while later, however, the cat woke up again, having used two of her nine lives. The kitty has since been adopted and named “Andrea.” The new owner really should think about buying lucky Andrea a lottery ticket!

A teenaged mom in Oklahoma wins Second Place this week. More importantly, the eighteen year old girl won in a deadly force encounter, protecting her three month old baby. Teen Mom Shoots, Kills Intruder With 911 Dispatcher on the Phone. Two men were trying to break into the young woman’s home. Her husband had died from lung cancer less than a month before. When Sarah saw the two men prowling around her house, she made sure the doors were locked, pushed a couch up against the front door, grabbed a shotgun, and called 911. As the intruders were forcing their way through the front door, Sarah asked the dispatcher if she could shoot them. The dispatcher’s excellent advice was, “I can’t tell you that you can do that, but you have to do what you have to do to protect your baby.” Sarah shot and killed the first intruder through the door. He died still clutching a large knife. His accomplice fled but was arrested a short while later. Congratulations, Sarah, on protecting yourself and your baby!

This weeks Winner comes out of Mexico: Mexican Grand Warlock predicts Obama loss in 2012. In his yearly press conference, Antonio Vasquez predicted an Obama election loss. I hope he is right, but he also predicted Britney Spear’s death and a South American leader’s assassination in prior years. Neither of those have come to pass. Vasquez also stated that witchcraft is to blame for Hugo Chavez’s cancer. He needs to let Chavez know because Hugo keeps saying that the Americans gave him cancer! I know Mexico has some problems but is this what their news media has come to? The United States has The Drudge Report. Mexico has The Warlock Report?

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