Story of the Week

Feb 16, 2012

The first headline this week is from Las Vegas- Diner Suffers Cardiac Arrest While Eating a Triple Bypass Burger in Restaurant Called the Heart Attack Grill.The actual 6000 calorie burger is pictured at the left. Yes, it came with fries, affectionately named, “Flatliner Fries.” This meal would feed some small countries for a week! Fortunately, the customer is expected to survive. For a restaurant with a name like “Heart Attack Grill,” this is actually great publicity. Their own advertisement actually states, “the side affects from eating Heart Attack Grill food ‘may include sudden weight gain, repeated increase of wardrobe size, back pain, male breast growth, loss of sexual partners, lung cancer, tooth decay and liver sclerosis stroke. In some cases mild death may occur.'” Who is ready for lunch?

Second Place this week goes to this winner out of Russia: Vladimir Putin Ridiculed After Demanding Russians Have More Sex to Halt Declining Population. Evidently, there are only 142 million Russians right now and that just isn’t enough! Putin wants to raise that number to 154 million. And we all know where baby Russians come from. Putin has proposed giving the equivalent of almost 300 dollars, free kindergarten, and cheaper housing to mothers who have another child. We in the United States are way ahead of the Russians and have had this program for years. It is called Welfare.

And The Story of the Week winner is: Man Arrested for Burglary After Being Shot by Ex During Attempted Break-In. This headline comes out of Illinois. It seems that Chauncey was a bit of a slow learner and just could not accept that it was really over between he and his ex-girlfriend. And even though she would not open the door when he showed up, Chauncey was so convinced that she wanted to see him, he tried to break through the door. The ex-girlfriend put an exclamation point on her break-up note by shooting Chauncey as he was breaking in. He ran out into the yard and collapsed. He was transported to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries and the police said that he will be arrested after he is released from the hospital. Hopefully, Chauncey can take a hint.

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