Story of the Week

Aug 12, 2011

The Third Place Trophy this week goes to the President of Afganistan for this headline: Afghan President Urges Clerics to Discourage Turban Bombs. It is not my place to judge, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that this has to be a sign that your country is screwed up. If your President has to tell your religious leaders, “Hey, guys, let’s have the wannabe martyrs lay off of stuffing explosives into their turbans. They can still shove C-4 into their underwear or tennis shoes, but we are running short of turban material.”

This “gentleman” earned the Second Place Trophy this week. The headline was Music Teacher Caught Having Sex with Doll Outside School. It seems that Mr. Torrell was enjoying the company of a “child-like doll” on a local elementary school grounds in full view of the public. The good news is, he doesn’t teach music at the elementary school. The bad news is he teaches private lessons at his house. I am guessing this might hurt his business. I would also wonder about any parent that said, “Ok, honey, I’m dropping you off at Mr. Torrell’s house for your piano lesson. See you in an hour.”

And this week’s winner is: Pastor Tased, Woman Stabbed after Church Service. It appears that the pastor fired the music director as soon as the Sunday service was finished in St Elmo, Alabama. The now ex-music director took exception to this, pulled out a taser and zapped the pastor. Then things got uglier. Ex-music director’s mom jumped into the fray and a church deacon pulled out a knife and stabbed her in the arm. All in all, six people were injured but none seriously.

Is it just me or does this sound more like a bar fight? I have been to calls like this at clubs, honky tonks, and bars. I have never been to a cutting or a tasing at a church. Maybe the New Welcome Baptist Church will need to install metal detectors or have the big bouncer guys patting people down as they come in the doors next Sunday.

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