Story of the Week

Jun 30, 2011

With this post, I am starting a new feature on my blog. I have assembled a crack team of judges and we will be picking and highlighting the top news story of the week. If you don’t like watching or reading the news, just check in here and you will at least get a couple of stories that you can share with your friends.

This week was particularly hard for the judges. They had some great stories to sift through. Third Place went to, “Specially Bred Monkey Escapes from Primate Center.” I have visions of a little monkey with superhuman strength out roaming the suburbs. Don’t offer him a banana. He will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!

Coming in at Second Place was this gem, “Man Drove Naked While Smoking Meth.” Maybe the AC was out in his Escalade. Georgia summers are pretty hot and humid. Maybe he just stripped down to get cooled off. That would have been my story, anyway. Not this guy. He told the police he was, uh, “entertaining” himself as he was driving and smoking meth. There is something to be said for a guy too stoned to lie.

And coming in at First Place this week, please give a big round of applause for this story: “Drunken Ohio Woman Accused of Spraying Deputies With Breast Milk.” Evidently Stephanie, a school teacher, was at wedding (hopefully not hers) and got drunk. She then punched her husband a few times. When the police showed up, she unsheathed her right breast and sprayed the nice deputy with some milk. Needless to say, Stephanie went to jail for a variety of charges. I have been in Law Enforcement for almost 30 years and I have never been attacked with a breast. That sounds like one heck of a wedding!

What was your top news story of the week?

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